Did you know that it is important to tell your story? And do tell your story over and over again. You are looking for a way for your story to somehow make sense. If you are able to share it with us here, then please do so, if not then write it down, create a grief journal something you write in every day, or go for a walk in nature, the woods are a safe place to tell your story, no one will be there trying to fix you, the woods do not try to tunnel down into your feelings, and no one in nature cares if you cry.
When you are around people, they try to fix you, give you things to do to keep your mind off what happened, they are fearful to say your pets name, so as not to trigger your emotions. But at this point, you could never forget your pet – they are still very much part of you. So don’t get angry with people around you, they just cant understand what you are going through, none of us can – we all grieve individually.
Energy, what’s that? Why don’t you feel like doing anything anymore, why are you always so tired and exhausted? This is all part of the grief process, feeling tired and unable to do things is a protective mechanism so that your body can do its best to function and survive. We all have the ability to overcome grief it is built into us.
Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and the Brain (read below) :
Grief also will affect your appetite, your memory, you may find yourself more forgetful, your attention span is quite short compared to what it used to be.
In the early days, there may be forms to be filled out, appointments to cancel. Visits to rearrange, deliveries to stop, all of these things are a reminder of how your life has changed. You now have a new normal. A normal that you never asked for, not do you want. Everyday life will have so many reminders that a regular person who is not grieving will not understand. The future, the things that were part of your daily routine abruptly stop. No one asked your permission to have them stop – you did not have a say in any of this. The life that was to be, is no more, and never will be. Seeing reminders of other people with their pets doing the things that you will never do with your pet, just seems like a cruel cruel thing that you need to endure. Going out and living in the real world as you, that you are now, is very very difficult.
Sometimes the world outside of where you live is just to difficult to deal with. I am hoping you have a wonderful job that understands. Little by little more jobs are recognizing pet grief as a real thing, and are allowing their employees to have time off – I want to share something that Alexis Tischler (Comforted Companions, Compassionate End-of-Life Veterinary Care, PLLC.) had on her FB wall –
“To the boss that offered my client as many days off as she needed for saying goodbye to her beloved pet AND perfectly timing for flowers to arrive to the home as I was leaving, you are an EXCEPTIONAL human being. ❤️ #petsarefamily”
This is a partial list of just some of the things you need to know about grief!
Be well ????