Wait! – What if you do not want to Holiday this year?

Wait – what if you do not want to Holiday?

Trust me I get – the most wonderful time of the year really sucks when you are in grief. The holidays are some of the roughest days you will have to navigate after a loss.

Did you know that you are not alone with this struggle – there are many of us who feel exactly the same way.  it is ok to place boundaries around yourself this Holiday Season. Its ok to not do more than you want to do, and please don’t do anything that does not serve you.

You know how you feel, you know what you are capable of – and what you just don’t have the strength to do. After all you can only answer so many “How are you doing” questions. Follow your heart – I find that our gut seldom lets us down. Do what feels right inside of you and don’t have any regrets.

It is so important to focus on you and think about self-care.

Tips for getting through the Holidays:

1.    Acknowledge that the day is going to be rough

2.    It’s ok to start a new tradition

3.    Switch things up from what they have been

4.    Know that sometimes anticipation of the holidays can be worse than the actual holiday

5.    The whole family may be experiencing something different when it comes to grieving (remember don’t judge – or compare yourself to others)

6.    You may want to do something totally different than your other family members

7.    Develop new rituals that support your grief – light a candle in memory of your pet

8.    Be honest about your needs – speak your truth

9.    Don’t feel guilty about skipping events – especially if you are feeling overwhelmed

10. Pull out some photos of your pet and share favorite stories about your happiest memories

11. Make sure your kids know that its ok to be sad and happy during the holidays – remember you are showing them what it is like to grieve – be honest with them

12. Give yourself permission to cry

13. Focus on the things you can control

14. Do something kind for others

15. Ask people for help that day

16. Play some music

17. Find your tribe – people who have lost loved ones as well

18. Let people know that it is ok to say your loved one’s name

19. Talk with someone you trust

20. Journal, write down your feelings about the day

The truth is there is not one way to do the holidays – there are many ways. Please do what feels right to you. Trust your gut, listen to it – look after yourself. Your important – You count!